Happy National Ice Cream Day! For your enjoyment, here are eight new Social Justice-flavored recipes that are, unfortunately, fictitious. This list was inspired by Ben & Jerry’s statement on George Floyd’s murder.
1. No Modern Slavery Four Berry – Orange Sherbet with strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, and the abolition of the prison-industrial complex.
Prison Labor is modern-day slavery legalized by the 13th Amendment.
2. Trans Rights Are Human Rights Fudge Bites – White chocolate ice cream with chunks of ruby chocolate fudge, and a syrupy blue swirl of Transphobic Hysteria.
Trans people are valid. Full stop.
3. Abolish ICE Spiced Chai – Vanilla ice cream swirled with cinnamon sugar and cardamom, crystallized ginger, and the elimination of borders.
No borders on stolen land.
4. Donut Put Kids in Cages – Chocolate ice cream with doughnut holes, and the overdue end to family separation policies.
Accountability for missing and abused children in detainment has still gone unpunished.
5. No Allies, Only Accomplices and Hershey’s Kisses – Strawberry ice cream, fudge swirl, mini Hershey’s kisses, and the satisfying taste of direct action.
Allies see a broken system. Accomplices see an unjust system operating exactly as it was intended.
6. Black Lives Matter Cookie Batter – chocolate, vanilla, and peanut butter ice cream with a fudge core, cookie dough, and the abolition of the policing system.
Charge Breonna Taylor’s killers.
7. Rocky Road to Revolution – Chocolate ice cream with almonds, tiny marshmallows, and the promise of a better world.
The revolution will not be televised.
8. F*ck Hate Birthday Cake – vanilla ice cream with sprinkles, chunks of birthday cake, an icing swirl, and an intolerance toward bigotry this country needs.
The Confederacy has always been about hatred.